I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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