Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize