Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
