My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
whose parrot is this?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize