I smell stomach acid.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think people are normalizing furries
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
