Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
