Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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