it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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