I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
