If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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