A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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