My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
