So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Never joke about your clitoris.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
