she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
