I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
