If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Oh god it's open bar.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
