I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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