I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
