you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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