I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
