I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
