I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
