this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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