What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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