just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
