dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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