K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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