I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
