Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
