I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
