I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
