Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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