This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize