Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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