Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
