i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
