Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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