we're chasing vodka with high fives
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
