do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
