I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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