it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
where am i from again
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
