I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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