If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The Olympian is in my bed
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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