Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
