was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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