We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
