Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
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That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
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you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize