I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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