this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
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I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
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We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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