His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize