were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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