Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
