i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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