ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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