i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
