How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
