when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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