did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
