somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
