Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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