whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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