he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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