I wish I only lived at night.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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