you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
