funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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