office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
