Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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