Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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