So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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