woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
