any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
